I grew up in Michigan and moved to Alabama after college. It was hard to leave my family and friends, but we promised to meet every May in Louisville for the Kentucky Derby.
I looked forward to that weekend all year. I spent months searching for the perfect dress and hat and made a countdown calendar with paper chains that ran through my small kitchen (sorry for my roommates! And for all the trees – there were so many paper rings).
The weekend was always a whirlwind of horses, hats, hijinks, and embarrassing karaoke at the VFW hall. It was impossible to be fully present as I was always trying to capture the moment with my camera or write down what was happening so I wouldn’t forget anything. I wanted to bottle up our good energy and take it with me wherever I went.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t do that. On the drive back to Alabama, I could literally feel the joy coming out of my body. It was brutal. I told myself to stop being a baby and stop being a baby; I should be happy I had such a good time. But it usually took me days to start feeling like myself again.
It turns out that many people feel this way after a big, happy event or celebration like the holidays. It’s called post-event sadness or post vacation depression and refers to the sudden drop in mood and feelings of sadness and fatigue after an event has ended.
“It’s one of those bittersweet ironies. The more fun it was, the emptier a person can feel afterwards,” he said. Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D.Los Angeles-based psychologist who specializes in depression, anxiety, and loss.
Is it just sadness or is it clinical depression? >>
Why do people suffer from depression after the holidays?
Post-vacation depression happens for different reasons. For some people, the event or vacation is a break from everyday life and something to look forward to. “It gives you a spark, and when it’s gone, you feel like a loss or a disappointment, especially if there’s nothing that comes up that creates feelings of anticipation and excitement,” Thomas said.
Another reason for post-event sadness is loss of connection. Thomas said reunions, weddings and holidays are examples of times when you connect with other people, which can lead to feelings of joy and happiness, Kentucky Derby style, and then can feel like a loss.
Feeling down after a good time is common, but there are things you can do to help lift your spirits. Here are Thomas’ tips for dealing with post-event sadness.
- Don’t say goodbye without a plan. That tearful fall at the airport is absolutely heartbreaking. But you can make it seem less final by making a plan to see your loved ones again before you leave. It doesn’t have to be a big event like planning another trip or something travel related. It can be something simple like scheduling a video call for a certain day and time after the trip. That way, you can expect to see that person as soon as possible.
- Change your routine. Adding more moments of joy to your daily life can help you remember that you can have fun outside of a certain period, like a planned vacation. If you love music, go to a free concert or buy tickets to see a show. Do you love the outdoors? Try a new walking trail or hike. Or take a walk after work and enjoy the scenery near your home. Whatever you do, you should enjoy life.
- Create your own events. Most of us plan trips and gatherings around the holidays, but you don’t have to wait a year to celebrate what’s important to you. For example, plan a date night with your hottie once a month instead of waiting until Valentine’s Day or Galentine’s Day.
- Exercise. Exercise releases endorphins (feel-good chemicals) in the brain that can help ease the intensity of post-event sadness. Try walking 30 minutes a day or split it into two 15-minute sessions if you can’t commit to half an hour.
- Lean on your emotional support circle. Be open about your feelings with the people you trust in your life and ask them how they get through tough times and feeling sad. You may be surprised by what you learn, and sharing can help you feel less alone and more connected to others.
Post-vacation depression happens, but if your symptoms (sadness, fatigue, lack of energy, etc.) don’t improve after two weeks (or get worse), contact your healthcare provider right away. You may be experiencing something other than simple post-event sadness.
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