ANDYou were very interested in catching up with family and friends at the Christmas party. Then, “Damn, it’s Anthony. “We should have rolled out the red carpet for this arrogant and abusive scoundrel.” Do you want to know how to handle a narcissist? We will turn to an expert.
“It’s great until it’s not, and often then the relationship seems too far along to break off.” That is why it is better to detect these signs early.”
The story goes that Narcissus rejected the romantic advances of the nymph Echo.
Well, the gods did not appreciate him, so they made him fall in love with his reflection in a puddle of water. And when he discovered that the object of his love could not return his affection, he wasted away and died.
Introduction
Browsing the web I found the perfect post-vacation theme. “How to Deal with Narcissists at Home and at Work,” dated Dec. 19, appeared in Ohio State News.
The article summarizes an invited research article recently published in the journal. Cambridge Elements by Dr. Amy Brunell, professor of psychology at The Ohio State University Mansfield Campus. Researching and writing about narcissism for over 20 years, she is considered an expert.
I published an article three years ago that will serve as excellent reference information: Narcissistic Personality Disorder: What You Need to Know.
How to handle a narcissist
When it comes to managing a narcissist, Dr. Brunell is very clear: identify him early and get him out of your life.
Now he recognizes that it can be difficult to do so; because narcissists are usually charming, pleasant, flattering and pay a lot of attention at the beginning of a relationship.
But it’s important to keep in mind that these characteristics, like others, can be subtle signs that shouldn’t be ignored.
Protecting yourself
Although researchers have identified different types of narcissism, according to Brunell, entitlement, self-centeredness, and a lack of empathy for others underlie them all.
The most recognizable type to most people is probably agent Narcissism, characterized by high self-esteem, extraversion, arrogance and dominance.
This is the one that can make people go crazy, at first.
Dr. Brunell…
People are surprised when I say this, but when I meet someone who is very charming and outgoing, I become alert.
She recognizes that there are charming and nice people who are not narcissists. But their more than 20 years of study and research say that it is advisable to be aware and protect yourself.
love bombing
Again, Dr. Brunell points out that there can be signs of narcissism early in a relationship. It can include a lack of empathy, a need for constant attention and admiration, taking advantage of others, and expectations of special favors without reciprocity.
And there’s a big problem to pay attention to: love bombing. Excessive flattery, gift buying, and overwhelming attention are highlighted.
Brunell emphasizes that everything may seem heavenly at first, but it doesn’t last. This is because love bombing is a manipulative tactic that narcissists use to control a romantic partner.
To the point…
It’s great until it’s not, and often then it feels like the relationship is too far along to break off. That is why it is better to look for these signs in time.
long term relationships
Let’s say you missed or ignored the early warning signs and are now in a long-term relationship with a narcissist. What do you do for a living?
According to Dr. Brunell, there is recent research that may provide hope. For example, there is a study that found that people who were asked to take another person’s perspective in a situation were more empathetic, even those who were narcissistic.
Another study found that when narcissists recalled a time “when they showed concern, love, or acceptance for another person,” their narcissism decreased over time.
Dr. Brunell…
These lines of research and others like them are promising and suggest that narcissists do not lack the ability to change their ways for the better.
Still, it is unknown how it works and how long the effects will last in the “real world.”
How to handle a narcissist at work
“Do you see this crown? It means I am the boss, I deserve to be the boss and you will think and do what you are told.”
So far we’ve been on the personal side of the fence. But since most people spend at least a third of their lives at work and bosses can be narcissistic, we need to talk about it.
Narcissistic bosses
You may not need warning: Narcissistic bosses are often aggressive and intimidating, taking credit for their employees, and dominating the resources others need to do their jobs.
If you need to do something about a narcissistic boss. Dr. Brunell recommends working through formal processes provided by your employer. Employee assistance programs (EAP) and human resources offices can help. Of course, that may not work in all organizations.
He goes on to say that it is important to note that narcissistic leaders often succeed thanks to their charm and aggressiveness in getting things done. To manage, employees must ensure that boundaries are clear.
Brunel…
If you have a date, come in, grab what you need and leave. Do what you need to manage the situation without any additional commitment.
He adds that it may be a transfer within the company or his departure.
Stay free and safe
If you’ve had a narcissist in your personal or work life (maybe you have now), you know how important Dr. Brunell’s work and advice are.
Of course, you have to do something with it.
If you haven’t been involved in some way with a narcissist, move beyond considering yourself lucky. Keep your narcotics radar running and do whatever it takes to stay free and safe.
If you like, check out the Ohio State News article, written by Jeff Grabmeir: How to deal with narcissists at home and at work.
And for a more in-depth look at the research article, check out Dating a narcissist? The best thing you can do is leave, study concludes on StudyFinds.
Hey, if you’re looking for even more reading material, go ahead and peruse Chipur’s information and inspirational titles. You’ll be glad you did.
After a decades-long battle with panic, generalized anxiety, mood swings and alcohol dependence; Bill finally found his life’s passion and work: lending a hand to those in the same boat. At age 49 he entered graduate school and earned his counseling credentials. And he continues his service through Chipur and other projects.
