At the beginning of every year, we are bombarded with the same message: it’s time to fix ourselves. It’s an avalanche of ads for treadmills, exercise bikes, gym memberships, diet plans and supplements. The corporate marketing strategy is simple: make you feel broken so they can sell you their perfect “solution.”
This year, instead of chasing unattainable goals, what if we approached resolutions differently? What would happen if we relied on the original meaning of the word: loosen, simplify? It’s not about adding more to your to-do list; It’s about letting go of what doesn’t serve you and creating space for what truly lights you up. Here’s how to rethink your resolutions and redefine self-improvement on your own terms.
The current approach to new year’s resolutions
Screw New Year’s resolutions. I said it there. And I don’t use the word “hate” often. But anything that taps into our insecurities and sends us the insidious message that we’re not enough for people to make more money just pisses me off.
Of course, a new year seems like a natural time to start anew, and research on behavior change shows that the “clean slate” effect is very real. For that reason, New Year’s resolutions promise transformation. But why is the narrative always about negative feelings about ourselves and fixing what is “wrong” with us?
And why should they always demand that we add a bunch of new things to our to-do list when, let’s face it, many of us are feeling pretty exhausted right now?
The original meaning of the word resolution
Before you dive headlong into this year’s resolutions, I invite you to consider the true meaning of the word “resolution.” You may find it surprisingly liberating.
According etymonline.comresolution comes from Latin resolutionwhich means “the process of reducing things to simpler forms.” It is derived from resolve, which means “to loosen.”
Let that sink in. What happens if we lean on that original meaning?
Instead of piling more things onto your already full plate over the next year, what can you loosen, simplify, or leave out? Let’s explore that self-reflection together as you set New Year’s resolutions for the coming year.
A thought exercise on letting go
Grab paper and pencil and reflect on these questions. We are going to make two lists.
Take 3-5 minutes for each prompt on the list below and simply pour your train of thought onto the page. Don’t overthink or edit yourself, just let your thoughts flow. (And if the idea of writing seems vulnerable to you, you can always burn the paper afterwards!)
List 1: What lights you up?
- What brings you joy?
- What do you look forward to every day or week?
- What parts of your life reduce stress?
- What makes you feel truly nourished, connected and alive?
List 2: What weighs you down?
- What obligations do you have simply because you said “yes” when you really meant “no”? (Think: running a work committee, volunteering, hosting the big family dinner, etc.)
- What unrealistic expectations are you holding on to?
- Where do you feel pressure?
- What thoughts, ideas or beliefs are not serving you or are holding back your personal growth?
Now, let’s connect the dots:
- What’s stopping you from letting go of some of the things on List 2 that would leave more room for things on List 1? Is it fear? Blame? The opinions of others? That tired myth of the “Superwoman” that we have all been sold? Or maybe some outdated story you’re clinging to about who you’re supposed to be and what you’re supposed to do?
- If you’re not sure what’s holding you back, ask yourself what’s the worst that could happen if you stopped doing these things; The answer will give you clues about your fears.
- Whose voices, words and ideas are they? If you listen closely, I bet you’ll realize they’re not yours.
It’s time for a reality check
Ask yourself: Do I really need more to add to my personal development list OR is it time to remove some things from the list of things that are weighing me down? Phew.
Most people would benefit more from letting go of old habits that work against us rather than adopting a bunch of new ones. Is that your case?
Of course, some things aren’t easy to let go of right away. Obligations and responsibilities may take time to shift to colleagues or family members. In those cases, focus on the steps you can take to emerge successfully and create an action plan.
Ready to let that shit go? This is how
When you are ready to let go of part of List 2, here is a simple Letting Go Ceremony to help you release what no longer serves you so you can better manage stress and improve your mental health:
- Grab a piece of paper and write down what you’re ready to post.
- Light a fire. Safety first! Use a fireplace, campfire, or even a safe container like an empty coffee can.
- Throw the paper into the fire and focus on your exhale as you watch it burn.
- Watch the release. Remember that you are already an expert at letting go: each exhale is a test.
- Mark the moment. End your ceremony in a way that feels meaningful: say a word, dance, go for a walk, draw something, or set a new intention. Choose what feels right for you.
From making resolutions to finding resolution and peace
This year, instead of trying to get ready with New Year’s resolutions, give yourself the gift of letting go of what’s holding you back and creating anxiety in your life. Letting go of what weighs you down can make room for the joy, connection, and nourishment you truly deserve. And that, my friends, would be a truly amazing resolution for 2024.
What are you going to let go in 2025? Let me know in the comments. –Karin
