by Erin K Risner, Senior Director of Marketing and Communications, Camp Fire National Headquarters
What does the Christmas season mean to you? For many, it can bring both stress and joy. Gatherings can highlight family tensions, disrupt sleep and routines, and normal sources of support are not as available; This can amplify the mental health struggles young people are already experimenting.
So what’s a caring adult to do? Here are 11 ideas, based on Search Institute‘s framework for positive relationships development:
1. Be warm and intentional: Don’t forget to greet the children individually at your next holiday gathering. Make sure they know they are welcome and that you are happy to see them, not just the adults accompanying them.
2. Include me: Include children and teens as you create your vacation schedule. What gatherings, activities, or traditions mean the most to them? What are your priorities for the season? Give them a say in the decisions that affect them.
3. Respect me: If you encounter resistance to a particular holiday tradition or gathering, stop and ask why. Listen to understand. Even if you eventually ask to participate, first try to clearly understand your concerns and reach a fair solution.
4. Encourage: Specific praise is helpful. Look for opportunities to recognize a young person’s unique point of view, persistence, or character.
5. Let me lead: Consider asking the children and teens in your family if they would like to lead a traditionally adult-led holiday activity. What would change if children took charge? Or how can you create a new Christmas tradition with the young people in your life?
6. Wait as best you can: Experts agree that the holidays are a good time to let go of the little things. But when it comes to important things (the shared values of your community, for example), keep the standards high for yourself and the young people.
7. Stretch: Help a young person work on a robotics project after Christmas dinner, give them a higher reading level book, or teach them a new phrase in a language they’re learning.
8. Lawyer: If any holiday gatherings have become potentially harmful to the young people in your life (if family members are not supportive of a 2LGBTQ+ teen, for example), take action. If you are the primary caregiver, you can set protective boundaries for your family, including not attending events. If it is an extended family member or friend, ask the young person how they would like to be supported and make a plan for how you will intervene. (This Parents article It has great resources!)
9. Set limits: If it’s within your control, set limits on seasonal hours. Help young people prioritize their favorite activities instead of feeling overwhelmed. And keep rest at the top of your to-do list!
10. Reflect on failures: If a holiday event or activity doesn’t go as planned, reporting it calmly (and with humor, if possible!) can help young people learn that failure is a part of growing up, not something to be afraid or ashamed of. .
11. Hold me responsible: If you lose your seasonal cool, model how to offer a sincere, timely apology and necessary restitution. Expect the same (in developmentally appropriate ways) from any young person for whom you are responsible.
Child development experts emphasize the importance of set realistic expectations for the holidays, stick to a normal schedule everything possible, spend time outsideand practicing gratitude together. Simplify gift giving and practice social skills before meetings, and giving teenagers room to be moody They are also solid strategies.
And perhaps most importantly, find ways to tend to your own needs so you can find beauty and continue showing up for the young people in your life.
We wish you a pleasant and less stressful vacation.
