It all started when I had COVID in September. When I say “it,” I just mean a series of small events that added up to where I am this morning. I wish I had been writing about this all the time because it would be easier to keep up, but here goes…
In September I had a headache. I had stopped drinking coffee the day before, so I assumed it was due to caffeine withdrawal (my caffeine withdrawal headaches are terrible and I always promise to never get hooked on coffee again, and then I do). The next day, my throat felt like it was closing. This is very common due to my general anxiety.
The next day, my headache still persisted but my throat had gotten much worse; It got to the point where I *knew* I was getting sick. The telltale sign for me is always a sore throat. Sure enough, I had more symptoms and was depressed for a few days. It wasn’t terrible, but it definitely wasn’t fun. The worst part was my persistent headache and my throat that felt like it was being strangled.
I had been taking a decongestant 24 hours a day with COVID so I wouldn’t get a sinus infection. I was glad I never did it, but my sinuses felt totally dry and I figured that was what was causing my headache.
In fact, the headache started to get even worse. It wasn’t unbearable or migraine-like, but it was there, non-stop, 24/7. I started taking more and more ibuprofen, 800 mg at a time, and I barely touched it. I couldn’t sleep. I became very grumpy because the headache was very persistent and I just wanted a rest. I liken it to having a conversation with an adult and your toddler keeps pulling at your pants saying “Mom, Mom” trying to get your attention the whole time and you just don’t want to interrupt the conversation.
Soon my entire face hurt, especially my jaw, temples, forehead, and behind my eyes. After a couple of weeks, I knew it couldn’t be the caffeine. COVID was no longer there. My jaw hurt so much that I decided to go to the dentist. I had been avoiding the dentist since Eli had oral surgery last December and I woke up in the middle, feeling every single thing the oral surgeon was doing to remove his impacted wisdom teeth.
When I was sick, I ate popsicles 24 hours a day because they helped my throat. And the teeth on the right side of my face were VERY sensitive to the cold. This wasn’t totally new and the dentist knew about it but couldn’t find any problems, so he had only been using toothpaste for sensitive teeth (Tom’s actually works quite well for that!).
Anyway, I had a nagging feeling that I had a bad tooth or something. The hygienist took x-rays and said she didn’t see anything on the x-rays, but it’s possible she had a small fracture or something (which I thought was terrible). And sure enough, upon inspection, he noticed a very small crack on my molar (#31) (the one furthest back on the bottom right side).
The dentist said he could put a crown on it, but referred me to an endodontist because he said he needed to evaluate me first to see if I needed a root canal. I had a root canal and crown in 2016 and was terrified that I would have to get another crown (honestly, the root canal was easier than the crown). He said that since I was in a lot of pain, it was very likely that I would need a root canal; Otherwise, you may still feel pain with the crown.
I didn’t want to do anything. Pretend you’ve never been to the dentist. Pretend my tooth was fine. How could I chew ice for 15 years and never get a crack, then I quit a year and a half ago and broke my tooth? While I don’t grind my teeth, I clench my jaw a lot when I have a lot of anxiety, which could be the cause. But the dentist said if he didn’t do anything it would probably get infected, possibly causing an abscess and a much bigger problem than a root canal and a crown.
As much as I wanted to ignore the problem, my constant headache was so bad at the time that I simply made the appointment with the endodontist and hoped that at least I wouldn’t need a root canal. After having a severely broken jaw in 2010 (the surgeon said it was the worst jaw fracture he had ever seen), needing two reconstructive surgeries and having my jaws wired shut for six weeks, you’d think maybe my bad luck with my teeth was over. But that would be too easy! It gave me a dental phobia and I’m always afraid of going to the dentist.
Anyway, the endodontist was VERY nice. After taking more x-rays and examining my tooth, he gave me the worst news yet…he said he was pretty sure he couldn’t save my tooth at all. He said that if he wanted, he could start the root canal and try to save the tooth, but from his experience he didn’t think it would work. He recommended removing the tooth completely.
The thought made me feel bad and (embarrassingly) I cried a little when he told me. Not only am I afraid of any kind of dental work, I’m now also afraid of twilight sedation (which is what Eli had). However, I knew there was no way I could endure the extraction without sedation. He referred me to an oral surgeon…and when I looked at him, he was the same surgeon Eli had had. I told him there was no way I would see him, so he referred me to someone else.
Since the endodontist didn’t believe he could save my tooth, he didn’t want me to try, only to get halfway through the root canal before it needed to be extracted anyway. I wanted as few procedures as possible. So I called the oral surgeon and made an appointment for a consultation, requesting intravenous sedation. I know people do extractions without sedation, but there was no way I could get past that.
The oral surgeon put my mind at ease, especially when he took a panoramic x-ray, saw the plaques in my jaw, and learned how bad my dental phobia was. In fact, I was very surprised that they never sedated me when they removed my arch bars (the metal things that kept my jaw closed for six weeks) because it is a very painful procedure. (I compare it to flossing with a wire as thick as a paper clip.) I told him about Eli and he assured me that this had never happened to a patient before.
| The panoramic x-ray looks great, right? |
He also gave me more bad news. He explained that he highly recommended an implant where I would be missing a tooth, not for cosmetic reasons, but because my jaw bone could begin to degrade and cause a host of problems with my other teeth.
At that moment, I was so overwhelmed with everything that was happening. It all started with a headache, and now I needed a tooth extracted and an implant to replace it, followed by a crown? I asked him a bunch of questions about the procedure and if I could do it at the same time as the extraction (if I was already going to be sedated, I would prefer to do it in one procedure instead of two) and he said yes. –It will only take another 10-15 minutes.
My headache was still constant 24/7 (I’m not exaggerating when I say that) and I was desperate for relief. I made the appointment for the dental procedure (very expensive). And in about three hours from now, I’ll be sedated intravenously, have a tooth extracted, and replaced with an implant. It has to heal for three months and then I’ll have to get a crown.
My anxiety is through the roof right now. I know this may not seem like a big deal to most people, and why am I so worried about a stupid dental procedure? Most people have not experienced a broken jaw that I have and I feel like my fear is legitimate. But I will do anything to get rid of this headache. I’ve had to eat from the left side of my mouth for two months (which feels very unnatural) and avoid anything cold. I’ve been stress eating and have gained 12 (!) pounds in two months. I just want to get this over with and hopefully get back to normal.
Wow, that’s where I am right now. I hope the next time I write it will be headache-free and that the extraction and implantation were uneventful and boring. Here goes nothing…
