Many high-achieving women believe confidence comes from perfection, validation, or reaching yet another milestone, but that’s not sustainable. In a world that constantly demands impossible standards, it’s easy to get caught up chasing a sense of satisfaction that never comes. If you’ve ever tried to “fake it ’til you make it” or change your appearance to feel more confident, you’re probably still searching. It’s time to break free from these myths and adopt strategies that build confidence from the inside out.
Myths about building trust
1. Perfectionism
Perfectionism tricks you into thinking that if you do everything perfectly, whether it’s your training, your appearance, or your career, you’ll eventually feel confident. But in reality, chasing perfection leads to burnout and anxiety. Picture this: you train for a marathon with the goal of reaching a specific time. You follow your plan, but on race day you don’t reach your goal. Instead of celebrating your hard work, you beat yourself up for not being “perfect,” which only makes you feel worse.
2. Constant praise and validation
Seeking external validation may give you a temporary boost of confidence, but it is not sustainable. Praise, social media likes, and recognition feel good in the moment, but when the praise ends, so does your confidence if your self-worth depends on the approval of others. This leaves him in constant need of external reinforcement and in a fragile and unstable state.
3. Achieve more
Many women believe that confidence will come from reaching the next milestone, like getting a promotion, achieving a fitness goal, or crossing another item off their to-do list. While these accomplishments can be rewarding, tying your confidence to achievements only creates a cycle where you’re always chasing the next goal, never feeling like you’ve truly arrived.
What builds sustainable trust
1. Take imperfect measurements
As noted above, confidence does not come from perfection. Rather, it comes from action, even when you are unsure of the outcome. When you take on challenges, make mistakes, and move forward anyway, you develop resilience. Imagine signing up for that marathon even when you’re not sure you’re ready. Your career may not be perfect, but you prove to yourself that you can do hard things. That’s when true trust is born.
2. Develop self-confidence
Confidence is rooted in self-belief. When you keep the promises you make to yourself—from following your fitness plan to setting healthy boundaries—you reinforce your own integrity. The more you act in accordance with your values, the more you will trust yourself and that is where lasting confidence begins.
3. Face discomfort and growth
True growth, and therefore true confidence, occurs when you step out of your comfort zone. Speaking up in a meeting, facing tough training, and pushing yourself through discomfort is what builds confidence. Every time you face a challenge, you grow, and with growth comes sustainable confidence that you can continue to build.
Trust is not a destination, it is a journey
At the end of the day, confidence isn’t about being perfect or getting outside approval. It’s about taking imperfect action, trusting yourself, and growing through discomfort. When you stop chasing confidence and start building it from within, you will find that it will stay with you, no matter what life throws at you.
In which area of life will you apply these tips first? Share in the comments so we can encourage you! -Alex
