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Last updated on October 21, 2024 by Randy Withers
Supporting someone with depression can be challenging, but it is also one of the most meaningful and compassionate actions we can take. Depression is a complex and often misunderstood mental health condition that affects millions of people around the world.
As a mental health professional, I have seen firsthand how supportive relationships can be a critical factor in helping people cope with and recover from depression. While professional treatment, such as therapy and medications, is often necessary, the support of friends, family, and loved ones plays an invaluable role in the healing process.
How to support someone with depression
In this article, I will explore five key ways you can support someone with depression. Each of these approaches is based on evidence-based practices, empathy, and understanding of the emotional struggles associated with depression.
1. Listen without judging
One of the most important things you can do to show support for someone with depression is to listen. Depression often creates feelings of isolation, loneliness and worthlessness. When someone talks openly about their struggles, they are often looking for connection, understanding, and reassurance. It is essential to provide them with a safe, non-judgmental space to express their feelings without fear of criticism or dismissal.
A useful tool to learn is called active listening (I have an article about it here), but here are some quick tips to get you started:
Tips for active listening:
- Be: When someone talks about their depression, give them your full attention. Put aside distractions like your phone and focus on their words and body language.
- Validate your feelings: Avoid minimizing or dismissing your emotions. Phrases like “You have nothing to be sad about” or “Just think positive” can make you feel misunderstood. Instead, say things like, “I heard you’re having a hard time” or “It sounds like you’re really struggling right now.”
- Ask open-ended questions: Encourage them to share more by asking open-ended questions like, “Can you tell me more about what you’re going through?” or “How have you been feeling lately?”
- Be comfortable with silence: Sometimes the person may not want to talk much, and that’s okay. Silence can be powerful and just being there with them can bring them comfort.
Why this helps: People with depression often feel misunderstood or invalidated. Listening with empathy shows that you care and that they are not alone. Create an environment where they can safely explore their emotions, which can be a healing experience in itself.
2. Encourage professional help
While your support can make a significant difference, depression is a medical condition that often requires professional intervention. Psychotherapy (such as Cognitive behavioral therapy) and medications (such as antidepressants) are common treatments that have been shown to help people with depression.
It is important to approach this issue delicately, as some people may feel hesitant or embarrassed to seek professional help due to stigma or fear. When you encourage them to seek help, focus on the benefits rather than forcing the issue.
How to encourage professional help:
- Normalize therapy: Share how common it is to see a therapist, framing it as a proactive way to take care of your mental health. You might say, “Many people find therapy helpful when they are facing difficult times.”
- Offer to help with the process: Offer to help them find a therapist, discuss insurance options, or even accompany them to their first appointment if they’re feeling anxious.
- Be patient: If they resist the idea at first, don’t push too hard. Instead, keep the conversation open and let them know you’re there to support them when they’re ready.
Why this helps: Professional help can provide people with the tools, techniques, and sometimes medications they need to manage depression. Encouraging them in a kind, non-judgmental way can make them feel supported and less alone as they take this step.
3. Offer practical support
Depression can make even the simplest tasks overwhelming. Everyday activities such as cooking, cleaning or paying bills can become difficult, leading to a vicious cycle in which the person’s living conditions deteriorate, which in turn worsens their mood. Offering practical help can alleviate some of this burden and give the individual space to focus on their mental health.
Examples of practical support:
- Help with daily tasks: Offer to help with cooking, cleaning, or shopping. You can say, “I’m going to the store, can I pick up some things for you?” or “I’ll stop by to help tidy up a bit.”
- Help with programming: Depression often affects a person’s ability to manage time and stay organized. Offer to help them schedule appointment reminders or help them schedule tasks they’ve been avoiding.
- Provide healthy distractions: Sometimes engaging in a simple, low-pressure activity, such as going for a walk, watching a movie, or solving a puzzle together, can provide a welcome distraction from your negative thoughts.
Why this helps: Depression can make people feel helpless and unable to care for their basic needs. By offering practical help, you can lighten their load, reduce stress, and help them feel more in control of their life.
4. Be patient and consistent
Showing support to someone with depression is not a one-time event; It is a long-term commitment that requires patience. Depression often comes in waves and recovery is not always linear. There will be good days and bad days, and it’s essential to be consistent in your support, even when you feel like your efforts aren’t making a difference.
Ways to be patient and consistent:
- Don’t take rejection personally: There may be times when the person with depression withdraws from social interactions or rejects offers of help. Understand that this is a symptom of his depression, not a reflection of how he feels about you.
- Check in regularly: Even if they don’t always respond, keep communicating. A simple text saying, “I’m just thinking about you” or “Let me know if you need anything” can go a long way.
- Respect your limits: While it’s important to be there for them, respect their need for space and autonomy. Don’t push too hard for them to open up or interact if they aren’t ready.
Why this helps: Depression can be a long-term struggle and your constant support shows that you won’t abandon them when things get tough. Patience allows a person to heal at their own pace without feeling pressured or judged.
5. Educate yourself about depression
One of the best ways to show support for someone with depression is to educate yourself about the condition. Understanding the symptoms, causes, and treatment options for depression will not only help you provide better support, but will also prevent you from making common mistakes that could unintentionally harm a person’s mental health.
How to educate yourself:
- Learn about depression: Read authoritative depression resources from organizations like the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) or the American Psychological Association (APA). Understand the symptoms, such as persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities, fatigue, and changes in appetite or sleep. Pursuing an education in this space is also a great path for those passionate about it. For example, pursuing an education to become a post master’s degree in mental health nurse practitioner.
- Understand what not to say: Avoid saying things like “Just get out of it” or “It’s all in your head.” These phrases can minimize the severity of depression. Instead, focus on empathy and understanding.
- Recognize the signs of suicidal thoughts: In severe cases, depression can lead to suicidal thoughts. Know the warning signs, such as talking about death, withdrawing from social activities, or giving away possessions. If you suspect someone is suicidal, seek professional help immediately and don’t hesitate to call a crisis hotline.
Why this helps: Educating yourself about depression will help you better understand what your loved one is going through. It allows you to respond more appropriately and sensitively, making them feel understood rather than judged or misunderstood.
Final thoughts
Showing support to someone with depression requires empathy, patience, and a commitment to be there, even when it seems challenging. By listening without judgment, encouraging professional help, offering practical support, being consistent and educating yourself, you can play a vital role in your path to healing.
Depression can be an isolating and overwhelming experience, but with your support they will know that they do not have to face it alone. While professional treatment is essential, your care and understanding are equally crucial to helping them find hope and recovery.
Let me know if you liked this post. Your comments are important!
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