Let’s face it: Modern life can seem like a whirlwind of chaos mixed with chaos, especially for women juggling careers, families, friendships, and wellness goals. Your stressed self may have even decided in the new year to focus on finding better ways to manage your stress and anxiety. And you might have even been Googling “how to calm down” right before you landed on this page.–Hello 👋🏼 see you.
This isn’t the first time you’ve promised to learn how to calm down. But no matter how much you try to reduce stress, it always seems to appear at the most inopportune times and places: stiff neck and tense shoulders, clenched jaw, racing thoughts, pounding heart, and that annoying tendency to attack your partner. Out of nowhere to load the dishwasher “wrongly”. Ugh, we’ve all been there.
The good news? Although it may seem like you’re a long way from calm, getting your nervous system to calm down again doesn’t require a complete life overhaul or a two-week vacation to the Bahamas (although that would be nice!).
Your nervous system holds the key to regulating stress, calming your body, and creating a sense of security in your daily life. Whether you’re looking for tips to manage stress, learn how to calm yourself, natural ways to relieve stress and reduce anxiety, or simple techniques to feel more centered, this guide has you covered.
So if you’ve been looking for self-care routines or tools to overcome the fight or flight response, read on. These accessible, science-backed techniques will help you calm down, regulate your nervous system, and enter the New Year feeling grounded, revitalized, and ready to take on life.
Understanding stress and anxiety
What is the body’s response to stress?
Have you ever felt like your heart is racing, your muscles are tense, and your mind is in overdrive? That’s your body’s stress response. Known as the “fight or flight” response, this natural reaction is your body’s way of preparing to face a perceived threat. When stress hits, hormones like adrenaline and cortisol flood your system, preparing you to face the situation or flee from it.
In the short term, this answer can be incredibly helpful. It sharpens your concentration, speeds up your reflexes and gives you a burst of energy. But when stress becomes a constant companion, this once helpful response can become a source of chronic stress, wreaking havoc on your physical and mental health. Chronic stress can lead to problems such as high blood pressure, anxiety, and even depression.
Understanding this response is a turning point for stress management. Because it is not stress that ultimately kills us. It is the fact that we never get a true break that erodes our resilience and breaks us physically and mentally.
By recognizing the signs, such as palpitations, rapid breathing, or tense muscles, you can take proactive steps to calm your body and mind and get that much-needed break from the stress response. This awareness is the first step in reducing the negative effects of chronic stress and improving your overall mental health.
Once you’ve identified the signs, incorporating these quick relaxation tips into your daily routine can make a significant difference to your mental health and emotional well-being.
1. Assess and address lifestyle inflammation
Think of your life like a houseplant: if the roots are unhealthy, no amount of misting or sunlight will help it thrive. Lifestyle inflammation is anything in your daily life that keeps you stressed, stuck, or unhappy. Examples include:
- An overloaded calendar: Are you scheduling back-to-back meetings or errands without any breathing room?
- toxic relationships: Are you surrounded by people who drain your energy or make you question your worth?
- Nutritional chaos: Are you fueling your body with healthy meals or are early snacks dominating your day?
Take 10 minutes to audit an area of your life. For example, set limits on your calendar by leaving one night a week free to rest or do a fun activity. Or swap out a sugary, low-nutrient cereal for a quick smoothie packed with spinach, almond milk, and protein powder. These small changes can create a domino effect that makes nervous system regulation easier to maintain.
2. Breathe to calm down
When stress levels skyrocket, breathing deeply is your best friend. Intentional deep breathing can send a powerful “everything is okay” signal to your nervous system, reducing feelings of panic or overwhelm. Deep breathing techniques, such as the one described, can quickly calm the mind and body during stressful situations. Try this simple technique:
- Inhale for 4 seconds through your nose.
- Exhale for 8 seconds through your mouth.
- Repeat for 1 minute.
Why it works: Stress often tricks your body into believing that danger is lurking around the corner (like being chased by a tiger, even if it’s just an email from your boss). This breathing technique reduces heart rate, relaxes muscles and restores a feeling of security. Extra tip? Use it during morning traffic, before a big presentation, or when you’re feeling anxious.
3. Shake off stagnant energy
Do you feel like a tight spring? Get your body moving, literally. Somatic (body) exercises, such as shaking, can release pent-up tension and help reset the nervous system.
Here’s how to do it: Stand up, bend your knees slightly, and shake every part of your body like you’re a wet dog sipping on that adorable post-bath smoothie. Focus on areas that feel tight, such as your shoulders or hips. Try this for 30 seconds, then pause and notice how your body feels.
It may seem silly, but shaking is a powerful way to move stagnant energy and transition from a stressed state to a relaxed one. Pro Tip: Blast out your favorite song to instantly boost your mood while you shake!
4. Try a sensory reset with guidance
When you become overwhelmed, getting your bearings can help you reconnect with the present moment. This grounding technique uses your senses to gently bring you back to the here and now. Try it anywhere:
- See: Name 5 things you can see (like a lamp, a book, or your cup of coffee).
- Hear: Identify 4 sounds (birds, traffic noise, your own breathing).
- Tap: Feel 3 textures around you (soft sweater, smooth desk, hot cup of tea).
- Smell: Take note of 2 aromas (your perfume, freshly washed clothes).
- Taste: Tune in to 1 flavor (a sip of water or a lingering mint gum).
This simple practice is especially helpful if you’re in a high-stress environment, like a crowded supermarket or a tense family gathering. It can be particularly beneficial during stressful times, helping you manage feelings of being overwhelmed or anxious.
Final Thoughts on Finding the Cold
You don’t need a week-long yoga retreat or a complete life change to reduce stress (although a spa day wouldn’t hurt!). By addressing lifestyle triggers, practicing intentional breathing, moving your body, and reconnecting with your senses, you can train your nervous system to stay calm no matter what life throws at you.
So, the next time you feel overwhelmed, take a few deep breaths, focus on your senses for a minute, get up and move, or do a brief audit of your life. Your mind and body will thank you.
This New Year, focus on progress, not perfection. Small changes add up to big transformations.
Which technique will you try first? Let us know in the comments! -Alex
