Navigating Holiday Stress for Parents: 5 Learnings From Mental Health America and Arizona State University’s Parenting Webinar

MHA and ASU Webinar Content: I Don’t Know How to Take Care of Myself in Stressful Times with Dr. Ruben Parra-Cardona, Bethany Younkers, Dr. Ariana Hoet

The holiday season is often marketed as a time of joy and togetherness. Still, for many parents, it can quickly become overwhelming. The pressure to do everything perfect, manage endless tasks, and juggle family dynamics can take a toll on mental health. Prioritizing self-care, setting healthy boundaries, and tapping into your support system can help you navigate the season with more balance and less stress. Here are five takeaways to help you do this from the MHA and ASU webinar, “I Don’t Know How to Take Care of Myself in Stressful Times.” After all, creating moments of joy doesn’t require perfection: it just requires presence and intention.

1. Identify your values ​​and priorities and set boundaries accordingly.
   It can be easy to fall into the mentality that we must do everything on vacation and you’re quickly saying yes too much. Dr. Rubén advised you to take a moment to recognize your values ​​and priorities during the holiday season. Once you have a clear vision, set your boundaries and respect them. That might mean spending more time together as a family instead of overcommitting to outdoor activities or saying yes to a half-day event instead of a full day. When you realize that by saying “no” to something you are making room for what you value most, it takes away some of the guilt you may feel. Reframe boundaries as saying “yes” to the things you value.

2. Reframe the way you think about self-care.
   Shift your thinking about self-care from self-indulgence to self-preservation. Parents often feel like they have to prioritize themselves last to make sure everyone else is taken care of. When we reframe the way we think about self-care, we can identify how maintaining our physical and mental health is a necessity.

   Self-care doesn’t have to be so big and expensive. It is taking care of our needs and providing food, rest and energy to your mind and body. That looks different for everyone! Try not to fall into the trap of thinking that self-care is expensive, like getting your nails done or going to the spa. Getting caught up in what self-care “should” look like is easy.

   Some examples of self-care practices include:

   • Find a moment to breathe deeply and re-regulate your nervous system
   • Ask your support system for help: Does anyone watch the kids while I go shopping?
   • Finding time for movement that feels good to your body, even if it’s 5 to 10 minutes of stretching or walking
   • Say no to a holiday event if you need time and space

3. Welcome and ask their support system for help.
   Instead of raising your children alone, do it with your people. You are not alone and it is okay to ask for help. Other people in your life probably feel just as overwhelming. Consider reaching out to friends, neighbors, or community members to take care of each other. Maybe that means a different family invites the kids over for dinner once a month so the other parents can have a night to themselves. Or you can rotate between drop-off and pick-up, so you can do it with other people. If you can, find a shared community to support each other, especially during busy times like the holidays.

   Dr. Ruben shared the importance of creating a lifestyle that builds protective factors so that when things hit us, they bounce back a little easier, which can really help. Recognizing this can be difficult for many people, but this is where your community can turn for support.

   The holidays can also bring up feelings of grief and sadness, especially if some of your loved ones are no longer with you to celebrate. Having a support system can help provide comfort during difficult times of grief.

4. Find ways to incorporate joy into your routines.
   When you have so much on your plate, little things like washing dishes or doing laundry can seem exhausting. Bethany shared that these are activities in her weekly routine and she has tried to create moments of joy with her daughter. Invite your children to help dry while you wash or fold clothes. Play fun music and try to create a moment where you bring joy to the mundane.

   Many parents feel guilty when they are not close enough to their children, especially working parents who have limited time to spend together. Dr. Ariana shared her approach to managing stress and guilt as a working mother, emphasizing the value of being present and intentional with your children during daily activities. This is similar to Bethany’s approach of finding activities you are already doing to invite joy and quality time into your day.

5. Leave the comparison at the door.
   It’s easy to compare yourself to others, especially social media highlights, which only show what seem to be the best parts of everyone’s life. During the holidays, this can be compounded by the stress of buying gifts, participating in all the activities, and traveling to see family. These things can add additional emotional stress and financial strain to families.

   Dr. Ruben spoke about the importance of deconstructing social narratives about parenting and how these narratives can be oppressive. He emphasized the need to focus on what one can do with one’s resources rather than comparing one’s actions with those of others.

   Some of the best memories and moments you can give your family are quality moments together, those where you are fully present, even if it’s just for a short time. Dr. Rubén shared that his favorite activities are making popcorn with his family and enjoying a movie together at home. Find ways to create joy and happiness in your homes without adding financial stress.

   By focusing on what really matters—setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, leaning on your support system, and embracing simple joys—you can create a season that is meaningful and enjoyable for you and your family. Remember that it’s not about perfection but about being present and intentional with the time and resources you have. Take a deep breath, let go of comparisons, and give yourself grace this holiday season.