So where was I? Oh right, it was a couple hours before my oral surgery and then I didn’t write for three weeks after that. Why does time go by so fast?!
The morning of the surgery (if you missed it, I needed a tooth extracted and replaced by an implant), of course, I was terrified. Jerry took me to the appointment; Since I was being sedated intravenously, I needed a driver afterwards.
I sat in the dentist’s chair and the assistants prepared me for the IV. [One thing that I noted while I was there–they asked me for my height and weight. I wondered if Eli was asked that before his sedation. Since he woke up during surgery, maybe they didn’t give him the proper dose of meds. At home later, I asked him about it and he said he was never asked for his height or weight. I was angry all over again.]
The attendants asked me about my children, probably to keep me calm and then to see how the medications were taking effect. I remember laughing at one point (about something about the kids) and the next thing I remember I was walking back. to the car with Jerry. The sedation was WONDERFUL.
I felt pretty good and asked Jerry if we could stop at JoAnn Fabrics for a minute (I just needed one little thing). I don’t remember much about that stop! Hahaha, I must have still been totally out of this. My mouth was killing me the whole way home. I felt a little relief when I took the gauze out of my mouth (you’re supposed to bite on it until the bleeding stops), but it still hurt overall. Painkillers helped a little, but they have never been very effective on me.
The big question for me was: has my headache gone away?
It was hard to tell at first because of the toothache (or phantom pain, I guess?). In fact, my headache got much worse despite the painkillers. The painkillers made it tolerable, but I only took enough for three days and by the fourth day I was miserable again. I just thought that my headache wasn’t related to my tooth after all, and that I was going to have to live with this headache forever.
However, about a week later, I noticed that it wasn’t that bad. I had periods throughout the day where it stopped hurting completely and that gave me a lot of hope. About a week ago my headache was 90% gone and now I’ve gotten to the point where if I have a headache it’s usually dehydration, basically my starting point.
So now, the tooth is gone and the headache is gone!
I wish I could say I feel a million times better now, but all of this (plus a bunch of other things) took a toll on me over the past few months. I started eating terribly, and even bingeing (something I hadn’t done in a long time!). I stopped wanting to do things with people; my headache made me irritable and I definitely wasn’t good company. I stopped being very active in everyday life (I hate to blame it on the headache, but the more I moved, the worse it got).
I gained 15 pounds, bringing me to 160, the highest weight I’ve been in probably at least three years. My clothes don’t fit. I feel incredibly sick due to eating habits and lack of exercise. It’s amazing what just three months did to me, mentally and physically. Seriously, this is one of the worst setbacks I’ve ever had when it comes to my weight loss, not because of the numbers, but because of how quickly and easily this all happened. However, I feel really bad about myself for allowing this to happen.
Now that the headache is gone, I want to get back to normal, but I’m having a REALLY hard time doing it. It’s amazing how three months can totally change your taste buds, your cravings, and even your desire to get back to normal. It’s hard not to feel like I’m “too far gone” to fix it. And I know it’s a horrible attitude! I’m just thinking aloud while I write.
I already know, very well, what I need to do to get back on track and feel better about myself. I just need to find the discipline and determination to do it. I’m going to read ‘Atomic Habits’ again and try to come up with a plan that doesn’t seem so daunting. Jerry is at his worst in probably 12 years and he really wants to work on it too.
I’ve never been a fan of “waiting until the new year” to start working on a goal, so I’m not going to discount this month. [I wrote a post about this and I just reread it. It’s actually pretty helpful, even to myself!] We still have 20 days left and I want to make the most of them. My birthday is next month and it would be great if I could lose about 10 pounds before then.
Right now, I’m holding on, I just don’t feel very happy with myself. Thanks for asking! I always feel better after writing a post, so I should try to make it a habit too. I don’t want to go back to blogging every day, but even once a week, especially when I’m trying to get my life in order, would be helpful.
And since I don’t like to end my posts on a negative note, here’s a photo of Jerry… with his new truck! He always wanted a new truck, and over the years we always said that when we paid off the house, he could buy any truck he wanted. He certainly earned it and absolutely deserves it! He loves it and I’m excited for him. (Plus, this means I now have the Edge to drive.)
