I Became a Cancer Survivor at Age 3

As told to Shannon Shelton Miller

Being a cancer survivor has shaped my life. When I was 3 years old, I was playing in the backyard with my older sister, who noticed blood spreading across my clothes. He ran me home and told my parents. They took off my clothes and saw a lump hanging from my body.

They took me to the hospital immediately. Later, they would find out that he had rhabdomyosarcomaa very rare type of cancer that begins in soft tissue and is most commonly diagnosed in children and adolescents. It is a fast-growing cancer and my parents were told I might not live more than 3 years.

I’m lucky that the cancer never came back after my treatments, but since mine was in the bladder, my surgery included an ostomy and I’ve used ostomy bags ever since. One of the good things about my diagnosis was that I was so young that this way of life is all I have ever known.

My parents were Christians, which helped me develop a strong faith in God that I still have today. I lived a blessed life because my parents always encouraged me and never treated me like a sick child. They didn’t see me any differently than my brothers. My mom never dressed me differently because she had an ostomy bag. It was like a normal life, which helped enormously.

However, as I became a teenager and young adult, I began to wonder about my future. My body was changing and I was questioning different things in my life. Would my friends still accept me? Would I get married one day? Could you have dreams and aspirations? Would I be limited in what I can do?

The most important question was: “Why did this happen to me?” Why did I have cancer? Why did I have to use these bags? It was difficult in elementary and middle school because I was trying to hide my secret. I wanted the kids to accept me, even if they had no idea what I was going through. Some days I was fine, other days I had questions, and other days I was depressed. Some days I didn’t know what I was feeling, but above all I wanted that answer: Why me?

I didn’t understand it until much later in life, but I had to discover it for myself.

Growing up, my mom always told me that I needed to share my story, but I never knew why. He knew the reason, but what he said went in one ear and out the other. I didn’t understand until I was an adult that my story could make a difference to someone else.

My story was about the “after”: life after treatments, after surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. What happened “after” was what changed my life.

My story is my story. No one can tell it like I can, but I have learned that my story belongs to others too. My story belongs to that cancer survivor, that person who goes through treatments, that person who undergoes ostomy surgery or that person who goes through the different emotions that I had already gone through. You never know who needs to hear your story and how it can improve their life.

I had finally found my why. What was I going to do with what made me different? I would share my journey to let people know that we are all different to make a difference for someone else.

So this is my story. I am an author, motivational speaker, ostomy advocate, cancer survivor, and model. I own and manage a modeling company. I am very involved in my church. I wear many hats.

When I look back at that 3-year-old girl in the backyard and look at myself now at 56 years old, I know I have lived a blessed life. I see how God has opened many doors for me because I am a cancer survivor. Many people want to know “Who is this model who has two ostomy bags?” I was able to model in different publications, on billboards and on television. I’m still amazed and sometimes I just ask, “Wow, are you still showing me my why?”

It has been several years since I began sharing my story with others, in person and online. my website and social networks. Becoming an advocate has given me the opportunity to attend ostomy conferences and talk to others like me. Last year, I spent two weeks in South Africa after an ostomy organization saw my Instagram and read my story. They invited me to speak, which was an incredible opportunity.

I know a lot of us don’t talk about this, so I try to share my journey to say, “Hey, listen, you can still live a normal life.” Health-wise, I’m perfectly fine. I have an annual checkup with my specialist to make sure everything is fine.

I also wrote a book, Blue pretty girland the title reflects how I felt about my life. I may look like a pretty girl on the outside, but many times I have felt very sad on the inside. I talked about everything in that 96-page book: my job, my home, my colleagues, my marriage, my divorce and my modeling career. This book started out as a journal and it was healing for me to get all my thoughts off my chest.

It is also healing for me to talk to other cancer survivors. I can talk to other people who have an ostomy. We can share so many deep things and we understand each other. It’s like, “Oh my God, did this happen to you too?” It’s inspiring when you can share your stories because you are in someone else’s shoes.

It makes a big difference knowing you are not alone. It feels great to listen to other people with the same experience and that inspires me even more. It helps me move forward.

I know that I am different to make a difference. That’s my “why.”

Do you have any real women, real stories of your own that you want to share? let us know.

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