Inside: It’s easy to feel guilty about what your child eats (or doesn’t eat) at mealtime. Here’s why you can relax.
From the first moment of motherhood, you may feel that there are endless things that make you feel like a terrible mother.
Maybe it’s a well-intentioned but judgmental comment from someone or a spiral of self-inflicted shame after seeing a “perfect mom” with her “perfect family” (as if) on social media.
Food is one of the most important aspects: how you feed your child, what your child eats, what No eat. As a dietitian, I’ve had a few food-related guilt trips over the years (see: The Most Important Lessons I’ve Learned About Feeding Kids).
In case someone hasn’t told you lately: you’re not a terrible mom. you are a excellent mother. And in case you need some extra encouragement today, I’m here to tell you that you can officially stop feeling guilty about these five things at dinnertime.
#1. Vegetables not consumed
Yes, vegetables are good for us. But they are not the end of all foods. In other words, if your child hates every single one of them, all hope is not lost.
While your children are still learning to taste and like vegetables, they can get similar nutrients from other foods, especially fruits. And you can continue to expose your children to vegetables at meals and snacks, because only seer Vegetables count as exposure.
Remember: we’re playing the long game here. We are hunkering down and practicing patience. It’s not about how many bites of broccoli your child has for dinner tonight. It’s about building a healthy relationship with food, and that takes time.
See more: Your child hates vegetables. And now what?
#2. Processed foods
Despite what you may hear, there is no shame in using packaged and prepared foods to make dinner. These foods make it easier to prepare a family dinner, and that’s a good thing.
However, it is also true that a diet rich in ultra-processed foods (those that are more processed and tend to contain more sodium, added sugar, and additives) may be linked to certain health problems.
So it’s about balance. Here are some real life ideas:
- Serve a large salad and fruit if you are having frozen pizza.
- Place brown rice and roasted broccoli on plate with boxed fish fingers.
- Lean on processed foods that provide more nutrients at dinner, such as canned beans, frozen vegetables, and dried whole-wheat pasta.
See more: It is not necessary to avoid processed foods. Here’s what you should do instead.
#3. Ketchup, BBQ sauce and ranch dressing
Adopt sauces and dressings on your table if your children like them. They can make an intimidating food seem a little friendlier, serving as a “bridge” that encourages your child to try (and hopefully like) different types of foods, like vegetables.
They can also make bland or even bitter vegetables tastier and more appealing, meaning your kids can eat more of them. in one studyPreschoolers ate more broccoli when it was served with sauce.
As your children become more familiar and comfortable with new foods, they probably won’t need as much additional flavor to enjoy them. For now, consider it a useful tool.
Yes, these sauces and dressings contain added sugar and other additives. But I prefer to cut back on sugar elsewhere (like fewer sugary drinks) and keep these condiments on the table. If you’re worried that your child will just eat ketchup by the spoonful (ahem, I’ve been there), pour a small amount onto their plate or into a small bowl.
Just don’t let worries about added sugar, sodium, and fat make you lose the flavor of foods like vegetables. Roasted broccoli is much better with a pinch of salt. Sautéed carrots are transformed with a little butter and brown sugar. And like my kids used to do, asparagus can taste better when dipped in tomato sauce.
See more: In defense of ranch dressing
#4. Dessert
It’s okay to serve dessert regularly. But dessert shouldn’t be a reward for dinner or depend on how many bites of vegetables your child ate.
Here’s why: When eating dessert is linked to eating other foods, especially vegetables, kids can start to see that food as something disgusting that they have to get over to get something better. Breaking that bond helps take away the power of dessert as a negotiating tool. No more “two bites of broccoli and you can have dessert” bribes.
Dietitian Ellyn Satter, author of My son: feed yourself with love and senseshe actually suggests serving small portions of dessert WITH dinner. She says that when dessert is taken off its pedestal, it becomes just another part of the meal.
And even if they devour the cookie first, they can move on to the rest of the food and eat their fill. They don’t run through dinner to get to dessert.
See more: Serve dessert with dinner. It sounds crazy but it works!
#5. A hot mess
If you’re not having perfect family dinners where everyone smiles, has good table manners, and has a second helping of Brussels sprouts, guess what? You are a normal family!
Especially when kids are young, dinner time can be loud and messy and, let’s face it, not always pleasant.
Chaos at dinner time is fine. The important thing is to maintain the habit of eating together as a family (when possible), even if that means dining in the car or on the sidelines sometimes.
and so? willpower Make it easier!
See more: The truth about family dinner
