There is no doubt that therapists who speak publicly about their mental health history often face stigma. Unfortunately, the stigma of mental health in general is still widespread and many therapists may be afraid to share that they themselves have a history of or are actively struggling with mental illness.
Early in my career, I felt like I had to present myself as “perfect.” I didn’t publicly disclose that I had struggled with my own mental illness, and I was honestly scared of the backlash that might have come if I chose to do so. Over time, though, I recognized the value in being open with the public and saying that I had recovered from my own eating disorder. Time and time again, I received feedback about how helpful it was for me to be open and say that, as an eating disorder therapist and founder of The Eating Disorder Center, I had once struggled with an eating disorder myself.
I now work exclusively with teens and adults who struggle with eating disorders. I co-authored the book “The Inside Scoop on Eating Disorder Recovery,” in which I shared that I had struggled in the past and shared it on television as well. I’ve come a long way from the graduate who was just starting out in her career and was afraid that someone would find out that I had my own mental health history.
I made sure to share in the session only what I think will be helpful for each particular client and to acknowledge that everyone’s recovery path is unique, so my path won’t necessarily be someone else’s. However, I think the fact that I have previously struggled with my own eating disorder has given me a lot more empathy and understanding.
I remember how exhausting it was to struggle with constant thoughts about food and my body, to have my life consumed by an eating disorder, and to be so miserable that I often wished I wasn’t here. And truth be told, when I was struggling there were many times when I never thought I would recover or that my life would get better. I also struggled a lot with “not feeling sick enough” at times and feeling like I “didn’t fit the image of what a person with an eating disorder looks like.” I now know that there is no “look” for someone struggling with an eating disorder and that ALL issues with food and the body are serious and deserve treatment.
Now that I no longer struggle with an eating disorder, I have a wonderful life. I am married to the love of my life. We have a young son who is my greatest joy. I am the founder of The Eating Disorder Center, a group therapy practice based in Rockville, Maryland specializing in eating disorder therapy and an eating disorder therapist. I love traveling (something I was terrified of when I had an eating disorder), eating out at restaurants, and having a peaceful relationship with food, movement, and my body.
I am passionate about helping others find the same freedom I found. And my hope is that by speaking publicly about my past struggles I can help others feel less alone, as well as eradicate some of the stigma that exists.
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