Today, much is written and done to combat stigma in mental health. Groups like WISE put out wonderful content to educate the public and eradicate stigma. One of the primary goals of stigma reduction is to get people to overcome their shame to the point where they are willing to seek help for their mental health. However, there remains a persistent and pervasive stigma surrounding psychotherapy. Since the history of modern therapy is rooted in the couch of Freudian psychoanalysis, it can seem like a scary and unwelcoming paradigm to those unfamiliar with it.
But what does it mean to seek help?
For many, it’s taking medication. This is often the first line of defense when it comes to mental health. Due to a variety of factors, from the structure of our health care system to societal sanction to the conditioning we have to expect immediate results, people have become relatively accustomed to taking pills. These pills can be life-saving, but they are often not enough. Medication is not the only way, nor the only way. Psychotherapy, often used in conjunction with medication, offers an additional path to living the best life possible with a mental health condition.
“Therapy is for people who have no friends. I don’t want to tell a stranger all my secrets. I don’t need help. Therapy is for people who have more money than problems.” These are some of the stigmatized, false, and damaging statements made about the beautiful and restorative process of psychotherapy.
As a therapist in training, I would like to destigmatise going to therapy, shed some light on what therapy is, what it isn’t and how it can help with mental wellbeing.
Remember that every individual therapy experience will be different depending on your needs and the way your therapist works. And by the way, it’s okay to try different therapists until you find someone you feel comfortable with.
What therapy is and what it is not:
TRUE: Therapy is a safe space.
In therapy, you can feel whatever feelings you have without anyone judging you. You can share them without fear of repercussions. You can experience your pain, joy, anger, and any other emotion while your therapist “holds space” for you. This means they will listen with genuine compassion, help you sort through your feelings, and guide you through whatever comes next. You can do all of this at your own pace.
TRUE: Therapy is about learning skills.
Therapy involves learning new skills, such as emotional regulation, relaxation, distress tolerance, acceptance, thought questioning, communication techniques, mindfulness, self-compassion, and lifestyle changes.
TRUE: Therapy gives you new perspectives.
We all live life from our own points of view, but perception is not reality: it is just a given. We do not always take into account all aspects of a situation. Therapy can help you identify alternative ways of seeing or thinking about things.
TRUE: Therapy helps you make changes.
Therapy gives you new skills and perspectives so you can make the positive changes you want to see in your life.
TRUE: Your relationship with your therapist allows you to examine how you relate to others.
Do you laugh when you feel uncomfortable? Do you get defensive when someone points out an area you need to improve? You probably do the same with your therapist, who will gently reflect this pattern back to you so you can discuss it together.
FALSE: Therapy is only for those with serious problems or mental health conditions.
Therapy can help anyone going through any situation. It could be a life transition, grief, an acute stressor, a relationship change, social discomfort, fears, discontent, substance abuse, depression, loneliness, concentration problems, anxiety, distress… the list is endless.
FALSE: Going to therapy means you are weak.
Being human is a wonderfully complex and difficult task. We ALL need help sometimes and people have depended on others for help since the beginning of time. Therapists make providing this help their life’s work and their full-time job: being compassionate, wise, regulated and insightful.
FALSE: Therapists hypnotize or control you.
You, and only you, are in control of your actions in this world. (This is actually a perspective you can gain in therapy!) Therapy helps you become the person YOU want to be, not the person the therapist thinks you should be.
FALSE: Therapy lasts forever.
In some cases, people will need ongoing therapy to deal with chronic issues or very traumatic pasts and that is absolutely fine. However, in many cases, a course of therapy is undertaken to address one or more specific issues. Goals will be set, work will be done to achieve them, and anything that comes up in the process will be addressed. When you feel like you have made enough progress toward reaching your goals, it is perfectly normal to stop going to therapy. It is also perfectly normal to go back when there is something else to deal with, just as you would with your dentist or primary care physician.
FALSE: Going to therapy is simply paying someone to be your friend.
Both therapists and friends may have your best interest in mind, but they are very different. Friends have their own needs, agendas, and baggage that they bring to the relationship. Therapists create an environment that is focused solely on your needs and your growth. Friends listen, give advice, and sometimes can tell you what you want to hear to provide support. But therapists spend years training to guide you to be your best self.
As with everything, knowledge dispels stigma. Now that you know a little more about therapy, what are your impressions? What might you address with therapy? What would you hope to gain from the process? What would you do differently in the future that would tell you it’s time to end therapy for now?
