I think that was the longest break I’ve taken from blogging in, oh, 13 years? Oh!
I should have checked in at some point, because I felt guilty about the abrupt absence, but I didn’t realize how much I needed that break until after our trip to Minnesota. I loved seeing Becky (and the kids, of course!). There’s a lot to catch up on – some things I’ll probably post over the next few weeks, but others are pretty irrelevant right now, so I’ll choose what to write about.
(Also, I have a million photos to go through, so I’ll include a couple random photos in this post)
We’ve had a LOT of big changes in our home recently. Noah moved out in December (taking Phoebe with him), Jerry started a completely new work schedule, Eli graduated high school, and both Noah and Eli took jobs where Jerry works. I didn’t love the idea of the kids working in the plant (I want them to do something they really enjoy) but they were very attracted to the pay and benefits.
Eli plans to stay there for a year, saving as much money as possible before (he hopes) starting an electrical apprenticeship. Noah still isn’t sure what he wants to study; He has changed programs three or four times. Instead of continuing to spend money on school, he wants to work full time until he figures it out. Whatever they choose to do, I’m fine with it. They both really like working at the plant for now!
I don’t have a car yet, but I’m fine with that. I’d rather leave my errands and things for the evenings and weekends than take out a car loan right now. Additionally, Eli hopes to buy a new (used) car soon; When you do that, I’ll drive the Volvo. Definitely different from my Jeep, but our luck with cars over the last year makes me reluctant to buy a new one.
Beyond all those changes, the main reason for taking time off was basically self-care. After the worst year of our lives (I’m not sure what to call it, that’s how Jerry and I have been referring to all the shit we went through), we both feel a little broken. It’s been about two years since our long streak of bad luck began and I’m definitely still dealing with a lot of it (emotionally).
I recently learned who I can and can’t count on to be here for me in tough times, and that was really hard to accept. I let some people down by minding my own business and neglecting those relationships (not on purpose; I just felt so emotionally drained, like I had nothing left to give). And I just didn’t have the mindset to write a vulnerable post.
So I spent the last month focusing on ME, something I haven’t done in at least 18 years. It seemed like a good time because Eli had just graduated and for me it was like a transition period, from “housewife” to “homemaker.” She did a lot of crafting (mostly sewing) and more introspection than ever. Last week, I had an epiphany that years of therapy could never uncover (why I eat for emotional reasons) and it felt like a huge burden had been lifted from me. I’m not ready to write about that yet, though.
Working on crafts has been very therapeutic and I’m starting to feel “lighter”, if that makes sense. I hope I can move on now (with life in general) and recharge my emotional batteries (that’s a lame way to put it, but it’s the best I can describe it).
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| Riley and I made bracelets for each other. She is so creative! We played doctor (I was the patient, of course) and she took an x-ray, said she had a broken arm, operated on me, put me in a cast, and instructed me to cover the cast in the shower for 10 months. –LOW. I also had my teeth done several times when we were playing dentist. |
Other than all that, things here are fine. Jerry and I are solid, the kids are happy and “grown up” (very bittersweet for Jerry and I), the pets are doing great (Phoebe is VERY happy at Noah’s!), and we haven’t had any mini-catastrophes in This weather. A while. He had been pushing Jerry for years to find a hobby he liked, but he couldn’t think of anything that really interested him (aside from disc golf, which he loves, but doesn’t want to do very often).
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| I made these for Jerry for Father’s Day. I’ve loved Shrinky Dinks since I was a kid, and I originally made them an ECTO-1 (from Ghostbusters) license plate keychain. Then I came up with the idea of transferring drawings that the children had made: drawings of JERRY that they made when they were four years old! Plus the way they spelled “dad.” Eli says “Dae” because that’s how he said it at the time–DAA–EEE, basically skipping the DD–and pronounced it. So beautiful! Jerry loves keychains. |
When we were in Minnesota we took Luke and Riley to the Mall of America where they have a LEGO store. Although Jerry had never gotten into Legos before (I know it’s LEGO, but I can’t get used to NOT calling them Legos), his interest was suddenly piqued (I’m sure the Star Wars and Ghostbuster Lego sets had nothing to do with it) . do with that–ha!). Then Eli gave him a LEGO set and he was suddenly hooked and very excited that it could be a good hobby for him.
He spent most of the weekend working on it and then pulled out the thousands of Legos we have (about half of them are at least 40 years old!) and the instruction manuals for different sets, and now he wants to start putting them together. He had started sorting them a while ago, hoping to put them back together, but it was taking forever. I love building with Legos, but sorting them is not fun at all, haha. They are currently sorted by color, which is helpful.
I haven’t weighed myself in a while, so I’ll do it again on Wednesday. I don’t have a great feeling about it, but I’m not going to pressure myself either. I feel like a huge emotional burden has been lifted from me and it will be easier for me to focus on my physical well-being. In fact, as soon as I finish this post, I’m going to run!
My friend Sarah (the one who lives in Arizona) is coming to visit this week and I couldn’t be more excited to see her. She’s been my best friend since we were little, basically, and she’s someone who I know will always be here for me. She understands me almost as much as Jerry does. We can go months without talking, but then we spend a couple of hours talking on the phone and pick up right where we left off. I haven’t seen her in a while (I think almost two years) and I’m looking forward to catching up in person!
Thanks for the comments and emails, really. I appreciate kindness more than you can imagine. I wasn’t trying to ignore anyone and I should have said I was taking a break, but I had no idea I’d be gone so long. It’s a little hard to get back into it, because where do I start? I’ll take it day by day, writing when I want and not writing when I feel like I don’t have much to say. Writing this post feels good 🙂
