Ketamine infusion therapy: Hannah’s story

YoIn emotional agony, Rick slams his fist on the table and says, “Of all the gin joints in all the cities in the world, she walks into mine.” With some modifications, he could be talking about battling an emotional or mental health issue.

If you’re a movie buff, you probably know that Rick is Humphrey Bogart’s character in White House.

He brilliantly delivers one of the best lines in film history.

I think most of us could relate to the modified version. And one of the main reasons is having to resort to unconventional interventions to get help, because conventional ones don’t work.

Reader and Chipur Associate Hannah shares her experience with “unconventional” ketamine infusion therapy. She provides a ton of valuable information and I’m glad to have her on board.

Well, Hannah’s story…

Ketamine and me

The local evening news was my initial source of information about the use of the drug ketamine to treat the darkest and most stubborn mental depressions.

I’m talking about the depression reserved for monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs) and perhaps electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), depression that envelopes you in a cloud of enveloping despair in which everything is overwhelming and nothing feels right.

A “different” depression

My depression was different, which led me to believe that I was not a candidate for ketamine treatment. Instead of ascending to the top on a bell curve of perceived insanity, every day I plodded along in a mode of sweaty chaos with directional defiance.

The little momentum I mustered to face the day in the ecstasy of the afternoon was extinguished in front of the television with the 6:00 pm news.

My dreaded bedtime rose like an oppressive father to drive my terror into the hell of chronic insomnia that had tormented me since childhood, now intensified by the latest very major events: the settlement of the inheritances of two recently deceased parents and a series of other annoyances. too boring to mention.

In short, finishing one task and moving on to the next became insurmountable for me.

The journey begins

There are better resources than me for researching the medication ketamine for depression, like Chipur, which is where I started. But I had already called the clinic referenced in the news and made an appointment before I started reading.

Consumption

Ingestion was easy; I spoke to a registered nurse and told her how she had heard about the clinic. I then launched into my long history of depression, hitting the high notes of the (many) medications I had tried without success and discussing my recent episode in the grips of pain management.

By the way, I had quit cold turkey due to a tough inconvenience (four months to get an appointment as a new patient, even with a referral).

What I realized and expressed to the nurse during that first call was that I had been medicated with low doses of controlled drugs for years, and while I functioned very well on that protocol, I had stopped months ago.

Is my depression “big” enough?

I hadn’t been able to get back to the basics. I was exhausted, in pain, unable to concentrate and hopeless. I had been diagnosed serotonin syndromeso I couldn’t take the “normal” medications to treat depression.

Infused ketamine seemed like a logical solution to my depression, which I perceived as a step beyond melancholy. I wondered: Was my depression “big” enough for ketamine treatment?

The nurse at the ketamine clinic was compassionate and understanding. She offered to speak to one of the doctors before visiting the clinic, but her detailed explanation of the process and expected outcome was enough for me. I decided to show up in front of the doctor and continue from there.

I compiled a stack of relevant medical record notes to take to my appointment, focused on those detailing the medications I had tried, and arrived at the clinic with no idea how to present my case clearly. I didn’t need it. They understood it.

It’s time to see the doctor

I filled out the paperwork. It seemed basic compared to my understanding of this seemingly dangerous “club drug” ketamine infusion procedure.

I mean, this was a drug used to party, to sedate dogs and people for surgery. Wouldn’t you at least need to present a power of attorney and a will?

No. It was seemingly informal and casual, I think intentionally to minimize the fear factor and maximize the patient’s comfort level with the procedure.

Certified Anesthesiologist

The doctor, a board-certified anesthesiologist, explained that because ketamine does not affect breathing like sedatives, it is a safer medication, especially when used in lower doses to treat depression.

He compared the ketamine infusion to the reset button on a computer, but for the brain. Basically a chemical reset, to give you back the brain chemicals depleted by excessive stress and depression, so you can cope with life again.

What I thought would be a daunting evaluation process for this treatment came quickly and clearly.

The infusion experience

“What happens if I don’t get out of this feeling and it becomes my new reality?”

I was shown to a room in front of an executive desk from a comfortable chair, with an excellent view beyond which later came in handy during the treatment.

He was on what I call basic life support, but it’s actually vital signs monitoring: an electrocardiogram to monitor heart rate, a cuff to measure blood oxygen levels, and a cuff to measure blood pressure.

This attachment to the devices continued around me as the doctor informed me what to expect. He said that after three treatments, if the improvement was limited, then he would have no more ketamine. If it worked, we could extend it to six treatments and I should feel progressively better after each one.

It all happened so fast. The next thing I knew, he was putting an infusion line on the back of my hand, and before I could finish a paragraph, I was starting to feel different.

During the infusion

For me, at the most intense part of the 40-minute infusion, it felt like being given what I thought was too much nitrous oxide during a dental procedure.

The room closed around me, the two nurses and the doctor became my focal point, the American flag fluttering in the breeze outside was a reminder of why I could do this, but I couldn’t understand the small conversation with them.

Chatting with the doctor

I was fortunate to have the doctor’s full attention and we embarked together on a philosophical discussion about this relatively new therapy for depression, and in that context I was able to put words together.

It was interesting, emotional and enlightening. I was afraid I would forget what we said when the drug wore off, but that didn’t happen. I remember everything.

I believe your experience will be uniquely yours as you form your own opinions and ideas during this process. I think that’s what you’re supposed to do, I don’t know for sure.

At one point during the infusion, I thought that if I felt strange this was going to be really bad, and I felt free to express this concept to the doctors.

“And if?”

Afterwards I didn’t say it but I thought: what if I don’t get out of this feeling and it becomes my new reality? For me, that would have been terrible, being disconnected from the world as I felt under the influence of the ketamine drip, unable to adequately communicate my thoughts.

But at the same time, I felt like the sensation was fleeting, so I decided to completely trust the process and knew I was in competent and professional hands. I laughed thinking that it’s no wonder people come out of depression after a ketamine infusion, and if I ever wanted to feel like that: I’d be happy to feel super depressed.

But for what I believed to be the greater good, I stood my ground, under the very capable and direct observation of the doctor and nurse throughout the entire procedure. I told them when it was over, thank God you’re not weird people, or this experience would have been a catastrophe. But since you all act like normal humans, it turned out great.

I was given a written test to assess how I was feeling on a depression scale that will be used in the future to determine if I am responding to therapy. From arrival to departure it was two hours, it didn’t take long.

The consequences

For the rest of the day and night, I felt like I couldn’t organize myself to accomplish anything, so I watched TV. I got tired. I lay down and fell asleep immediately. I woke up refreshed. And today I am writing this article. I haven’t written for almost three years.

For me, this is enormous progress. People who have tried ketamine infusion for depression note that it is not a dramatic overnight change, but rather a gradual and subtle one. They are right and I feel subtleties just 24 hours after my first ketamine infusion.

In three days I’ll be back for another one. The six-treatment process can be done over the course of two to three weeks. It’s fast. And for me, I can say right now that it works. I feel happier today than I have in years.

You want it?

I believe in keeping an open mind to facilitate self-healing. All of this takes work and I know that recovery will not come in the form of pills or other medications.

I have to take charge of this condition and want to be better, if only because I said it because I want it to be that way. I want to be better.

If you don’t want it, if you get some secondary benefit (mind you, having others do for you what you yourself should do, for example), then I don’t think any medication or treatment will help you.

To a large extent, dealing with depression is partly an inside job. You have to do the work.

Oh, if you are interested in using ketamine for the treatment of anxiety and depression, you can find mental flower It’s worth checking out.

bill notes

Thanks, Hanna. Nothing can replace first-hand experience when it comes to emotional and mental health treatment. By bravely sharing personal information, you provided just that. It is appreciated.

So you know, the nasal spray esketamine (Spravato) It is approved by the FDA for the treatment of treatment-resistant depression. And it is used off-label for the treatment of major depressive disorder with suicidal ideation or behavior.

To learn more about treatment-resistant depression, start with part one of our series Managing Treatment-Resistant Depression: A Clinician’s Perspective.

That will do. “They’re watching you, kid.”

If you want to read more information about Chipur and inspirational articles, you know that’s fine with me. So go ahead and read the titles carefully.

Bill White is not a doctor and provides this information for educational purposes only. Always contact your doctor if he has questions, advice or recommendations.

After a decades-long battle with panic, generalized anxiety, mood swings and alcohol dependence; Bill finally found his passion and life’s work: lending a hand to those in the same boat. At age 49 he entered graduate school and earned his counseling credentials. And he continues his service through Chipur and other projects.