Talking about mom burnout in today’s blog.
Hello friends! I hope you’re having a wonderful morning so far. I’m meeting a friend for coffee and then working on some things for Fit Team. If you haven’t joined us yet, you can register now and take advantage of the flash sale.
For today’s post, I wanted to talk a little about mom burnout. While I am in a positive space with motherhood, there have been times where I have felt overwhelmed and exhausted. I wanted to dedicate this post to talking about mom burnout and share some of the things I’ve learned. Of course, I always love hearing your thoughts and perspectives too. I also recognize that, as a mother, I am fortunate and privileged in many aspects of life and I am grateful for all of them. There will always be someone who has it better or worse than you; The best thing you can do is feel gratitude for the blessings in your life and compassion for those who are going through difficult times.
What exactly is mom burnout?
I think of it as a state of mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion that most moms are likely to experience at some point in their lives. Over time I have learned that several factors can contribute to burnout in mothers. It can happen when you have maximized your ability to care for others, and it can also come from the invisible emotional and mental burden that mothers must bear. Peer pressure, unrealistic expectations, and social media can also contribute to feelings of burnout, and I think it’s VERY important for moms to fill their own cups first.
A mother’s exhaustion should not be taken lightly. If not properly addressed, maternal burnout can lead to even more serious health problems. If you feel like she is suffering, reach out and get the help you deserve. Please note that I am NOT a professional on this matter, just a mom who can relate to other moms experiencing burnout, sharing my story and the things I’ve learned. You can absolutely love your kids like crazy and still experience mom burnout. It doesn’t mean you’re not a good mom; You just need a little more love.
How to Recover from Mom Burnout
Take breaks and take time to recharge
This can be very difficult to do, especially if you have a small newborn. Take advantage of any opportunity you have to take a break and recharge, even if it’s a short nap, a hot shower, or 10 minutes of staring at the wall.
talk it
When you feel overwhelmed, whether you’re dealing with the exhaustion of parenting or life issues, it can be very helpful to talk about it. It can be with a trusted friend, partner, family or a professional. The good news is that often just talking about your frustrations can make you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Plus, when you say things out loud, it’s easier to develop an action plan or objectively view the situation without as many emotions attached.
Prioritize self-care
This can be complicated, especially when you are so dedicated to caring for others, but I firmly believe that you cannot pour from an empty cup. Making self-care a regular part of your routine is a great way to relieve stress. Note that it doesn’t have to be *all things*; It could be something you look forward to every week or every day. Some self-care ideas include attending your favorite weekly yoga class, a phone call with a friend, a walk or walk outside, reading a book, or soaking in a bubble bath.
Focus on the essentials
When you feel exhausted, try eliminating unnecessary tasks from your routine. This could be something like having a spotlessly clean house and crossing off every item on your to-do list. Keeping other humans alive, happy, and fed is a huge task, and along with taking care of yourself, it should be enough to give you a sense of accomplishment. You should feel proud of yourself without feeling like you need to do more. <3
Do something that makes you feel like YOU
This can be something like dusting off the ukulele, reading a book, having dinner with your partner, meeting a friend for coffee, or going shopping alone. Even if it only lasts 15 minutes during nap time, try to do something that brings you joy and was a part of your life before you had kids and that you’ve been missing ever since.
Delegate as much as you can and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Whenever it makes sense for your family and your budget, outsource as many things as possible. For even more effective stress management, consider outsourcing the tasks you despise. For example, if you love cooking but hate shopping, try grocery delivery. If you hate cooking, try a few prepared meals each week from a service you like. (Some of my clients have discovered that their husbands love to cook, so they have taken charge of preparing lunch and dinner.) Hire someone to clean the house if that works for you (it’s a lifesaver for me and sacrificing other things to include this in our budget), or any other chores or chores that add extra stress. See what can be eliminated and delegate as much as you can.
Leave the mom guilt
I feel like it’s VERY easy to feel guilty about so many different things, especially when there are so many…passionate…messages online. If you are one of the working moms with a full-time office job or work part-time from home, are a stay-at-home mom, have a vaginal birth or C-section, breastfeed your baby, non-attachment parenting, sleep routines , medical decisions, etc. People have many opinions about how you choose to raise your children. At the end of the day, you need to trust that you are making the best decision for your family and let go of as much mom guilt as you can. (This is something I’m working on myself and I often feel guilty whenever I have to work or film videos and the kids are home.)
Meet with a professional to address hormonal and nutritional deficiencies.
When I was going through postpartum anxiety and depression, there was a lot going on (a cancer diagnosis in the family and a baby with severe reflux), but I was also dealing with nutrient deficiencies, lack of sleep (this makes everything worse), and major hormonal imbalances. Once these things were addressed, the dark cloud lifted and I finally started to feel more like myself.
If you’re feeling unwell, I think it’s worth talking to your doctor or functional medicine practitioner. They can work with you to come up with a plan to help you feel better! Also, I can’t say enough about the therapy. It has helped me in many situations in my life and has been a key factor in managing chronic stress. I can’t say it enough: I am grateful for the kind and experienced therapists out there.
Invest in relationships
Take the time to invest in the relationships that are meaningful to you. This is very important for overall health and mental well-being, especially when you are feeling overwhelmed or exhausted. Connect with your tribe and reach out to loved ones, even if it’s just a quick text to say hello.
Surround yourself with positive and inspiring examples of motherhood.
I am so grateful to be surrounded by a group of moms who also love being moms. We can share our difficult times with each other, but we also encourage each other. Your positivity and perspective always give me a dose of positive energy. They inspire me to be a better mom and experience the true joy of motherhood. Try to connect with other moms who encourage and inspire you, whether family, friends, or potential friends, and set boundaries to distance yourself from anyone who brings you down.
On the same note:
Be careful with the social networks. Don’t be afraid to do a social media cleanse or detox.
It took me a while to realize that social media can be a trigger for me on the motherhood front. When I first had Liv, it was like you weren’t allowed to say that something was difficult or challenging or that you were a *bad mother* (and strangers on the internet have called me that, several times). Now, on the other hand, if you exude too much happiness, you may be accused of “toxic positivity.”
I feel like a lot of the messages about motherhood, in an effort to be *real*, have ended up being extremely negative on several accounts. One video that caught my attention showed a mother giving her son a plate of chicken nuggets with the letters “f you.” The child applauded and happily ate the nuggets while the mother laughed behind the screen. It wasn’t *real* to me. It was cruel and I cried after watching the video.
That moment, and many other unfortunate ones like it, led me to realize that I needed to be more aware of who I follow on social media. I like following accounts run by moms who share their fun adventures with their kids. While they absolutely share fragments of more difficult experiences, they generally enjoy their family members.
You have to evaluate what type of messages you like to see online and act accordingly. Delete accounts that make you sad and those that spread negativity, encourage comparison, or are harmful to your mental health. It also feels good to put your phone on airplane mode for a day or even a few hours when you need a break. 😉
Remember that all stages of motherhood are temporary
Not long ago, I used to get used to a certain routine or specific habits and then within a couple of weeks, everything would change. Now that the kids are older and much more independent, I am constantly aware of how quickly time passes. It’s not necessary to enjoy every moment (especially when you’re sleep-deprived, covered in milk spots, and recovering from childbirth), but I think it can be helpful to remember that time really does go by quickly. Before you know it, you can ask them to do their homework… and they will do it… alone. It’s wild, I tell you.
So tell me friends: which maternity accounts do you like to follow online?
Any tips for mom burnout or burnout in general?
hugs and kisses
gina
