Forgiving is Good for Your Health

What was it that made you all angry?

Was it a small thing that was pretty easy to forgive, like your partner loading the dishwasher wrong?

Or was it something really bad, like your best friend seeing
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Or maybe you were even angry at yourself for messing up a good thing?

Whatever it is, forgiving yourself or others means letting go of resentment, and it can be really complicated.

But if you can find the determination in your heart to do it, science says your heart will thank you. In fact,
investigation shows that the act of forgiveness can reduce the risk of heart attack, lower blood pressure and improve cholesterol levels.

Read: Symptoms of heart attacks in women >>

Forgiveness can also have a positive impact on mental health by reducing anxiety, depression and stress levels.

“It reduces overall stress because it’s stressful to hold grudges subconsciously and consciously,” he said.
Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D., a Los Angeles-based psychologist who specializes in life transitions, motivation, and self-esteem. “Heaviness can make you feel depressed and overwhelmed, and it’s exhausting.”

In addition to the health benefits, forgiving a person can help your relationships overall. Thomas said holding a grudge can prevent you from trusting new people because you never recovered from the past. “You may not even realize that you’re holding on to things longer or longer than you should and that’s triggering old feelings even when they have nothing to do with a new person.”

Forgiveness may not be for everyone. One way to know if you are ready to try to forgive is to check your feelings. According to Thomas, if you don’t let your emotions get the best of you or your feelings are less intense than before, you may be in a place where you can forgive.

Here are 4 tips from Thomas on how to move toward forgiveness.

1. Write a letter to yourself about the situation.. Write the whole story of what happened from your perspective and be as objective as possible. The letter is just for you (you won’t give it to the person who hurt you), but writing everything down will help you see the bigger picture.

   Then write down what you have learned. What do you feel about that person today after some distance and reflection? Are you able to see both sides of the situation? This is good as preparation before a conversation and can also be an indicator of your feelings.

2. Reflect on your relationship with the person you are trying to forgive.. Ask yourself how you have benefited from having that person in her life. This gives you the opportunity to identify the positive aspects of the relationship.
3. Talk to the person you are trying to forgive. Talking about the situation gives both people a chance to see if they can resolve it or clear up any misunderstandings on both sides. Forgiving doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting, so be honest about your intentions and expectations. For example, let the person know that you are trying to forgive them but that in the future you need to see a change in behavior or anything that can help you move on.
4. Seek professional help. Sometimes it’s unhealthy to interact with the person you’re trying to forgive, or you simply need outside help to do so. A psychologist who works on relationships and has knowledge about forgiveness can help you overcome anything you need to forgive.