I’m not sure how many people do this, but I get very obsessed with what I do in my daily life. I constantly analyze my habits, hobbies, and what I choose to do (or not do) during my day. Whether for work or play, I am in a near-constant state of thought, lost in my decisions. But in all this thinking, I forget that I don’t always have control over what affects my mental health, which is what I’d like to talk about today.
This post serves as a reminder of sorts, as I’m sure it’s something I’ve written about at some point in the last five years. But even if it is, it feels like a reminder I need from time to time. When your life starts to find its rhythm, things are great. You feel comfortable like you’ve finally figured it out and everything seems to flow. It’s a nice feeling, but it can often create problems when that flow is interrupted.
When my mental health is in a good place and something comes up that upsets it, I won’t lie: I get angry with myself. I get angry about the situation and I get angry because I am no longer in a good mood. But come to think of it, this is a serious misunderstanding of why I developed my mental health.
For a long time I thought of mental health as synonymous with being happy. When people focus on their mental health they tend to be happier, right? This led me to conclude that focusing on my mental health would lead to a better mood and a happier life.
For various reasons, this assumption was not useful and did not work. Mental health is more than just trying to “be happy.” It’s not a gimmick, it’s not a secret, and it’s not a one-stop shop. Working on ourselves takes time and effort, and we don’t always see the results the way we think. I thought that improving my mental well-being would prevent the storms from coming. The storms of anxiety attacks, the days of depression, and all the ways mental illness challenges us. But I was approaching this problem from the wrong angle. Improving my mental well-being has not stopped the storm from coming. Rather, it has allowed me to weather the storm, to survive until the sun shines again.
Sometimes, for reasons you can’t control, the world will put you in a bad mood. It will put you in a bad mood or cause you pain and distress. This may seem dramatic, but it is the truth. And it is in these moments that we can lean on what we have learned and how we have grown. I often see my growth not through the positive moments, but through the difficult ones.
Whether this post finds you in a good or bad mood, I hope it provides you with the same reminder as it did me. And although we can’t control everything, the work we do on ourselves matters, because we matter. I can try to control every aspect of my day and still something can come out of nowhere and create a challenge. That’s when I can lean on what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown to handle the situation in front of me. It doesn’t always work, but this approach has brought more good than bad into my life, and that’s enough for me.
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