In my life as a mental health advocate, I have seen people blame everything on bipolar disorder. This includes everything from thoughts like obsession and anger to actions like infidelity and yelling. And in my hundreds of posts here at Bipolar bubbling, you will see that many, many things are related to bipolar disorder. That said, blaming everything on bipolar disorder is a mistake.
Blaming feelings for bipolar disorder
Of course, bipolar disorder brings with it a lot of feelings. It is a mood disorder and your mood and feelings are linked. If you are depressed, your feelings will be drastically affected by it. Bipolar disorder is likely to influence your feelings unless you are in euthymia (a “normal” mood). Many people don’t reach euthymia often, which means that bipolar disorder is to blame for some feelings almost all the time.
That said, some feelings have nothing to do with bipolar disorder. For example, when someone you love dies, the pain and feelings it causes are normal, and bipolar disorder should not be blamed. Unfortunately, bipolar disorder can worsen or prolong those negative feelings. It’s tricky to figure out which feelings are caused by bipolar disorder and which aren’t.
Blaming thoughts on bipolar disorder
Just as feelings are intertwined with a mood disorder, so are thoughts. After all, your thoughts are often driven by your mood. If you are experiencing depression, mania, etc., you will have thoughts that accompany the associated feelings. Thoughts related to guilt and suicide are common in bipolar depression, for example. Thoughts about superiority and creativity are common in hypomania or mania, for example.
It is also important to remember that thoughts come from the brain and that bipolar is a brain disorder. Therefore, of course, your thoughts are affected. While the thoughts above refer to mood, in my experience other types of thoughts can also be attributed to bipolar disorder. There is a lot of commonality in the way we think, and I think that’s because all of our brains are equally sick. For example, obsessive thoughts are common in those with bipolar disorder.
Blame actions on bipolar disorder
This is where things get difficult for me. While all of the above is true and a lot can be attributed to bipolar disorder, we are still sentient, independent beings who are responsible for our own actions. There are exceptions to this, specifically in the form of psychosis. In the case of psychosis, yes, your actions can in many cases be attributed to bipolar disorder. People who have lost touch with reality may not appreciate their actions or the ramifications of them.
However, this is not true for most people most of the time. Most of the time, you can’t blame your actions on bipolar disorder. I know some people want to do it. I know some people treat bipolar disorder as a get out of jail free card, but it’s not. A strong desire to commit an act. can be attributed to bipolar disorder. actually committing that act I can’t be attributed to bipolar disorder. Actions are a choice.
Don’t blame everything on bipolar disorder
People will argue that things like anger are too difficult to deny and that actions they commit in a state of anger, for example, are not their fault. I disagree. Nobody makes you yell at someone. Nobody forces you to hit someone. It’s your voice and your body, and it’s up to you to use them responsibly, kindly, and consciously. The desires of bipolar disorder are not the same as a gun to the head. I know they can be extremely strong and impactful, but they are not undeniable. People like us deny them every day.
And the thing is, by blaming everything on bipolar disorder, you not only “get out of jail free,” but you also condemn yourself to never change or improve. The mistake you made “because of bipolar disorder” you will always make because “it is not your fault.” The actions, however, are decidedly your fault. But we can all improve. Improvement is a lifelong process. The mistakes we make today do not have to be the mistakes we make tomorrow. We are not on a merry-go-round. We are on a path that us chart.
Don’t get me wrong, none of us are perfect and we all act on things we shouldn’t all the time. Everyone does this. We are humans. But that doesn’t mean we can blame bipolar disorder for it, nor does it mean we shouldn’t take responsibility for it.
How not to blame everything on bipolar disorder
We must all learn to take responsibility for the things we do. When we hurt someone, it’s important to stand up and say it. us I made a mistake. An invisible hand did not do it. Us did. This is powerful. This means we don’t have to do it again. This helps both us and the people we hurt. It helps us try to improve and helps us validate when the other person feels hurt. Because it is reasonable for a person to feel hurt for you and his behavior. They don’t have to excuse their actions because of bipolar disorder. It’s not even reasonable to ask.
Learn to separate your actions from your thoughts and feelings. Your thoughts and feelings may be overwhelming, but they don’t have to force you to take it out on other people. Learn to separate your brain from your mind and use your mind to dictate the actions you take. want to take and not the ones you feel driven take. This is possible. Invest in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT); that can help you. Invest in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT); that can help you. Separating your brain from your mind, your actions from your thoughts and feelings, takes time, but you can do it. Remember, you override how you think and feel all the time. You just need to learn to do it whenever you want.
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