Soo Jin unexpectedly became a caregiver when her sister-in-law was diagnosed with leukemia. After just one phone call, Soo Jin was heading to her sister-in-law’s house to pack her things and welcome her to her house. When talking about care, the focus is often on difficulties and there are many difficult moments. Still, in Soo Jin’s experience, like that of many others, there is so much reward. Relationships deepen, hope grows, and living in the present becomes necessary.
Find joy
When life changes unexpectedly and quickly, questions arise that you may have never considered before. Existential themes become more real – which makes finding joy crucial. Soo Jin and her family discovered that focusing on the little things can be rewarding and make existential fears manageable. . Along with noticing the little things and allowing them to bring joy comes hope. Think about hope as action – something we can practice and build on. When we go through challenges, hope is one of the most powerful mental health protective factors we can place in our lives.
Living the moment
Soo Jin explains that there are many new unknowns in her life, but having hope about what is to come and living in the present is essential. Balancing all of this can seem nearly impossible between caring responsibilities, work, relationships, and all the other demands of life. Living in the present, moment to moment, is one way Soo Jin has been able to function through the hustle and bustle of being a caregiver. She is more attentive and aware of prioritizing and being present in every moment.
Strengthen relationships and ask for help.
Caregiving can change the dynamics of relationships, and while this can be challenging, new types of relationships can allow you to bond like you never have before. Soo Jin has gained a sister, something new and satisfying for her.
Asking for help can be difficult for many people, especially Asian American families. Soo Jin reflects that this cultural nuance is a challenge for her family. Becoming caregivers has required them to learn to ask for help and receive it when they need it. We can’t do it all and we can’t do it alone. Taking care of yourself as a caregiver is imperative and finding the balance between asking for help and supporting others is essential.
As a caregiver, it can be difficult not to feel overwhelmed and let sadness and stress take over. But with this new role, new perspectives can come. He may find joy, fulfillment, and hope like he has never known before.
Jackie Zimmermann is director of public education and e-learning partnerships at Mental Health America.
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